Losing a pet

Losing a pet is hard, those who have never had a pet often dismiss the emotional attachment between a pet and their owner. During the time my cat - Sox -was ill I was an emotional mess and I found myself having to apologise for being sad and crying, I found myself saying things like 'I know it's silly' when people asked me why I was sad. They'd often give me a look like pull yourself together it's just a cat while saying 'that's a shame' but you could tell they thought I was being silly.
 

I had Sox for 15 years, over half my life (I'm 24) it has been a long time since I had a life without him. Sadly now I do. As a pet owner you know one day it will happen you hope it wont but the inevitable will one day come. Sox had become ill with a possible kidney and heart condition that caused him to swell up, we put him on tablets advised by the vet and monitored his progress there was a point when he seemed to get better but it didn't last. The hardest part was seeing how happy he was right up to his last moments when he sat on the vets tables surrounded by the family, his head resting on my hand and him purring away. He was peaceful and loved, we had the most amazing supportive vet who didn't rush us at all, I like to think he could see the love between us all. He had seen how much we loved and cared for Sox and how much we willed him to get better.

In one afternoon 15 years of having Sox in my life suddenly stopped there was no more tomorrow, no more pawing at my face in the middle of the night for a cuddle, I wouldn't hear him meow again or find him greeting me at the door. Little things like seeing his bed empty and not seeing his food bowl out or knowing I wont get to see him lie under the Christmas tree and ping the baubles off still give me a lump in my throat and make me tear up. One of the hardest things is seeing our other kitty grieve for his brother he often paces around the house searching for Sox and crying when he doesn't find what he's looking for. 

Pets are a member of the family, a life long companion. They become your best friend, the company you rely on daily after a hard days work or when your feeling down. They leave a huge gap when their gone and it's okay to grieve for them, don't ever feel like you have to make excuses for loving them and missing them so much. Those of us who have or had a pet understand.

 

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Hello again...

 

Hello again, it's been a while. I started this blog back in 2012 and really fell in love with blogging and the blogging community in 2014/15 however over the past six months to a year I lost my love for blogging. Stress took over my life and I couldn't find the energy or motivation to sit down and type, posts became few and far between and to be completely honest my heart just wasn't in it. That brings me to today well this morning actually it's currently 00:55am, I'm lying in bed with Gossip Girl playing for the millionth time and I've just gave my blog a whole new look. I've removed all my old posts and I'm going to start again.

 

So let's start a fresh a lot has happened - not particularly good. After a few months of being on a shaky peg I finally lost my job I say finally because I escaped losing it last year, I finally got made redundant at the end of June and it felt like a long time coming. I worked in retail for a company that wasn't doing well but I liked my job and liked the people I worked with being a person afraid of change I never stepped outside my comfort zone and branched out into another career. Losing my job saw my anxiety creep back into my life not that it ever left but it just became worse and I had the worst panic attack I've had in a long long time.

 

While being stressed out on the running up to losing my job my beloved cat Sox got ill and exactly a week after losing my job the day I'd dreaded came and we had to get my handsome little man put to sleep. We had Sox for 15 years and I loved him more than I can express, losing him has hit me hard it broke my heart. Gosh I sound like a right Debbie downer don't I?

 

As I try to pull my life back together and figure out what to do next I'm trying to stay positive, it's hard there are good days and bad but I do have something to look forward to. Next week I go to Disneyland Paris this is a big deal to me a travel virgin who has never left the UK and has a serious love for Disney. Sorry for the rambling post I just wanted to fill you in on what's been happening. I'm going to try and blog more but I'm not going to tie myself down to posting on certain days I'm just going to take it as it comes.     

 Terri

xoxo

(right okay I really need to stop watching Gossip Girl)

 

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